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'He was the most beautiful boy I had ever seen. Yet there was something about him that I couldn't quite name...something curious about the way he poured ketchup on a doll's neck, then furiously licked it off'. And thus the sparkle-crossed lovers, Belle Goose and Edwart Mullen, meet in the Harvard Lampoon's hilarious send-up of Twilight. As our story opens, the pale and klutzy Belle has moved to Switchblade, Oregon, the smallest town imaginable where it rains constantly and it's always raining. Despite Belle's angry sarcasm and propensity for tripping down full flights of stairs, every male at her new high school falls madly in love with her. But Belle only has eyes for Edwart, so strange and almost mystical that snowballs seem to melt off of him like liquid. Edwart's bizarre behavior - he throws away an entire can of Sprite! - makes Belle absolutely certain that he must be inhuman, like some kind of supernatural hybrid. Maybe a werewolf or something...something that comes out at night, bites you, is semi-magical, and very, very attractive. But how can she convince Edwart to share his secret? And how can Edwart get this weird girl to stop following him around and showing him her neck? Complete with romance, danger, insufficient parental guardianship, creepy stalker-like behavior, and a vampire prom, "Nightlight" is a glorious riff on the teen literature sensation.

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