Interact: Discussions: Arrrrrrrgghhhh! You stupid people!

Okay, anyone who's ever worked in a bookstore has had them - the kind of stupid questions from customers who really shouldn't be buying books if they're that stupid. You know the ones, the people who say 'I'm after that book that was mentioned on the telly. I don't know what's it's called..." or "It's got a red cover. Do you know what book I mean?" or "I can't remember the title but it's new out. What do you mean you don't know what book it is?"

My fave? A lady comes in asking if we had that book by that footballer, couldn't remember his name but knew he was 'that really popular one' & that they were advertising the book in Smith's across the road. I couldn't help her so she went back to Smiths to check, came back a few minutes later with the information that is was David Beckham & the book was called Sharpie. It took a few seconds for it to sink in but I realised she'd seen an advert for Sharpie brand pens that Becks was recently advertising & somehow mistook that for a book. On top of that, after being informed of such she replied, completly obliviously, 'Oh. Oh, well I'll go & buy one of those then...'

I'm sure those of us who work in bookshops have more they could add?

Simon Humphrey

Currently reading: High Fidelity
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I would have sold her the most expensive hardback copy of any Beckham book and then sold her the pen in my pocket claiming it is a pen once used by Becks himself and then sold her the trainers on my feet claiming that Becks once spat on them...

Oliver White

Currently reading: The Secret Agent
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Location: Haywards Heath, West Sussex
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The unremitting joy of dealing with the public 5 days a week. Everyone should work at least one customer service job in their life. This would perhaps encourage them to act less like cretins when talking to "the staff" in shops. Having worked in pubs and clubs before, the bookshop is a relative oasis of calm intellectualism by comparison, however there are always a few bad apples. Being blamed for a book going out of print is always amusing. "It can't be, it's too popular!", no, you are the one person who wants to read it, this does not make it popular. "Wears ya tru stories?", in the BIOGRAPHY section! "This is half price round the corner", then go around the corner, and don't get hit by a bus. "Do you sell phonecards?",no. "Do you sell DVD's?", no. "Do you sell medieval armour?", no."What DO you sell?", books...prat. "I don't know the title, I don't know the author, can you help me?", probably not, but what was it about? "I don't know", which genre was it? "I don't know", why did you want to read it if you have no idea what it is?

All events above are true except for the medieval armour bit. They actually asked where they could get it. I didn't suggest the 14th Century.

Mark Hatton

Currently reading: Darwin's...
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Location: Worthing
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Sell them a Tourist Guide of the town you are in and perhaps even show them which section to find listings of Second Hand Book Shops, Newsagents, Video Stores, Blacksmiths...

If they are offended by this just say "I'm sorry, I really thought that you may have been lost, I didn't think anyone would be so stupid as to go into a BOOKshop and ask for those things ( phone card, DVD, Armour etc) ..." 

I once had a customer come into my Games store and ask if we sold light bulbs - I think she figured that we had lights on ...

 

Oliver White

Currently reading: The Secret Agent
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Location: Haywards Heath, West Sussex
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I don't mind when the customers know they're being vague & realise they have little chance of their queries being answered, but it's when they EXPECT you to instantly know exactly what book they're talking of & look at you like you're an idiot if you don't know. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO'S SUPPOSEDLY SEEN THIS BLOODY BOOK - YOU KNOW MORE ABOUT IT THAN I DO & EVEN YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IT IS & YOU THINK I'M THE IDIOT HERE????

Another great one recently was the gruff lady who came with the classic query 'Have you got that book by that woman? She was on the tv yesterday morning talking about it.' Resisting the temptation to just whack her across the shins with a poster tube I politely explained that it could be any number of books & asked if she could give me any more information to go on. She looked at me incredulously & mockingly said 'well you should know who she is, she's famous. Don't you watch tv?', to watch I equally mockingly replied 'not during the day I don't - I work.' I advised her to look in biography to see if she could recognize it which she went off to do with dissatisfied sigh, then returned to the counter a few minutes later smuggly waving the Dawn French biography at me. How did I not guess that with all her great clues!

Simon Humphrey

Currently reading: High Fidelity
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The anger is rising... Hulk smash!

No, relax. Calm blue ocean, calm blue ocean...

Simon Humphrey

Currently reading: High Fidelity
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Yeah, and what about the staff that work in shops? They are all thick as mince, unhelpful self-pleasers. And most of them smell like an elephant's dirtbox! You would think people in public service would have the ability to reason but no, if you ask for help they just look at you like a retarded, slug zombie. Why don't they take some time out of examining their smegma and learn a bit about what they are selling!

Sorry, have I misunderstood this topic?

Mark Jones

Currently reading: Little Dorrit
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Location: Chertsey
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So... who are more stupid?  Customers or Shop Staff ??

 

Oliver White

Currently reading: The Secret Agent
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Management

Edit: they are stupid.

Mark Jones

Currently reading: Little Dorrit
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I'm grabbing the heaviest hardbacks for projectiles, anything by taschen has a lethal range of 10m's.

Mark Hatton

Currently reading: Darwin's...
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Location: Worthing
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